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Saturday, April 9, 2011

It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.

Had a dream where I was crusing in the car with the fam, having the time of my life, when I catch a glimpse of the moon, which looks suspiciously like the planet earth. It looked beautiful, more gorgeous than any of the shots of the planet that had been taken from outer space. However, I noticed that the geography looks kind of different, so I thought it was another planet. Enthralled, I begin to wonder if they have life on their planet as well, but my aunt tells me otherwise, that it may the reflection of how the geography of our planet has changed so much in recent years. Frustrated not by the destruction of my dreams, but by my unbelieveable ignorance, I begin to pout. Then I begin to wonder how the hell our planet can be reflected so clearly on the surface of a celestial object. Then it hits me, literally. The thing begins to burn up and fall from the sky, and nail something by route 1. All we saw was a flash, and a massive explosion. You would have thought we were getting bombed. Well, technically we were, but by the sky. All of a sudden, other giant stars begin to assail the planet. Suddenly, I find myself in a mad dash down Rt. 1 trying to escape the shower of impending doom. A film of sweat envelops my body, a shiver shakes my soul. Swerving through hordes of cars driven by people driven by fear, we scrape through and manage to make it home in time. As we hustle out of the car, I nearly get stuck by a meteor the size of one of those huge workout balls. Expletives start streaming from my mouth, as my mom suggests we get provisions. So it's tiime to get back in the car. As I gaze toward our new lawn ornament and the crater framing it, I suddenly find myself at a restaurant, and we debate whether or not to get potatoes because it was recently discovered that they possess a chemical that's just as bad as any carcinogen. I gaze at the sky and find that it's now a bright sunny day. If you were to look at the sky, it would look like a day just like today. If you were to move your eyes downward by just a bit, you'd see that the assault from the sky had taken it's toll on the earth. Buildings we decimated, and the ones that weren't were on fire, or barricaded for their impending demise. I step into the restaurant, wonder what would kill me first: the sky, or the potatoes.

I could not tell what was worse: that the sky was falling, that potatoes became just as dangerous as cigarretes, or that I showed up to the restaurant in short shorts with no shoes on.

If this is how 2012 ends up...

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